My boring days off...

Raynae was been home sick for a few days this last week. Dave was home with her on Monday and I got to stay home with her Tuesday and Wednesday and let me tell you - I was bored out of my head!!!!!!

Both days I went back to bed and slept until 10am. Tuesday, I did some cardmaking and cleaning and Dave's mom came for a visit (which was nice to talk to an adult) but Wednesday was a different story. I could not motivate myself to do anything! I borrowed a book from Bek last night and read a couple of chapters in the afternoon. I cleaned our oven and did a few dishes. But that's about it. I was basically stuck surfing on the net. I did a tiny bit of church work. Pretty sad, hey? In my quest to make staying home sick as brutally boring as possible for Raynae, I have made it absolutely unbearable for myself! I CANNOT stand her cartoons for one more second!

I went for a tan to make myself feel better...hahaha. Really, I'm not vain!

I've always said that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom if we could afford it but I don't know if I could do it. I know it would be different 'cause the kids aren't generally sick so I would be able to go out and do stuff but I would definitely need to be involved in groups or clubs or something just to feel connected to other adults. I am definitely a people person and need to be around people. People my age.

I have to brag about Raynae, though. She has brought me so much joy. I love watching her grow up and learn new stuff. She's learning to read and she actually swam by herself for the first time in her swimming lesson on Saturday. She is amazed that Emma is 1 year old 'cause she remembers when Bek was pregnant and Emma was in her belly. She watched Brother Bear (her favourite movie that I hide every now and then for my own sanity) yesterday and started finding stuff funny that she didn't understand before. And her hunger for God is amazing. We have a children's bible that we read to her every night and she is starting to tell me what the story is about even before I start reading it to her. It just amazes me, sometimes, that God has trusted me to be her parent. Sometimes, I don't have the patience that I should have and I do and say stuff that I have to explain to her that I don't know how to explain and I end up saying "Just 'cause". I hate that phrase but I understand now why parents say it!

I'm excited to watch her grow and become a woman. I'm not excited about the teen years. I'm not sure what to expect with her birth mom and how Raynae is going to be with all of that so that really freaks me out. Plus, I have this uncanny fear of her becoming goth. I have no idea why. Not that I won't love her if she does but she is just so perfect the way she is and, I'll be honest - goth freaks me out!! I saw a girls t-shirt at VV a couple of weeks ago that said: "Oops - I went goth!". What is with that??!!